Healing (continued)

My healing journey continues. I have become very aware of the fear I feel around men in general. A trauma block of sorts. I am going to attend a healing session with this healer:

DOALEOVA-1.jpg picture by robcarris

Doña Leova is a Traditional Healer from the Nahuatl Indian nation of Puebla, Mexico. Her work is based in a cosmology of Healing that is known as the “Tradition of the Grandmothers”….. named because historically, one grandmother would share the practice with one granddaughter who would then go on to become the next practitioner.

Within her Community she is renowned as a Medicine Women and in her tradition a “Limpia” (or inner cleansing) is a form in which using a combination of body-work, massage, prayer and the intention of the healer and the client the echo of old pains, traumas, fears and tendencies that no longer serve the client can be released and cleared. Generally people feel lighter, more balanced, open and profoundly relaxed following a treatment.
Her work is deep…. and filled with Kindness…..
If you have success stories on healing from trauma from verbal abuse, please feel free to share.

 

How I confronted my verbally abusive father

victoryRecently I had a breakthrough moment in my relationship with my dad. He had another one of his yelling outbursts which finally pushed me to see the truth about verbal abuse. Since then, I’ve been doing a lot of research about this topic and how to deal. I found a great series of books by Patricia Evans on the topic, and have opened up about this to close friends, my therapist and called 2 hotlines to gain as much perspective as possible. I found a lot of information about what verbal abuse is, but surprisingly very little on how to actually deal with the close person in your life who is doing it. I want to share my story in the hopes that it might be helpful for someone to read. And if you have dealt with this issue in your life, please share your experience here too. I know someone out there is looking for guidance, just as I am.

First Thing’s First:Prepare

Since I’ve been exposed to abuse throughout my life, I’ve had a very hard time developing a healthy sense of self, and the self-confidence to speak my truth, and trust that it is worth being heard. I’ve been convinced all my life that the things I have said were not true, did not matter and were invalid. So as you can imagine, it is very hard to go from this state to one where you can say “STOP” when someone is hurting you again. Any such protests are simply met with more invalidation and even intensified abuse. So I have to say that the foundation of the confrontation that finally took place with my dad was a preparation process that took many years. I have been working on healing my sense of self, trusting my inner voice, and finally allowing that voice to be expressed for at least 3 years since I began working with my amazing art therapist. I have also been journaling, creating art work, practicing yoga and meditating on a daily basis. Each of these things has helped me discover who I am and realize that my voice is valid. I would also add that a particularly helpful therapy for me was hypnosis, as it allowed my therapist and I to work on the subconscious level of my mind where many of the negative things my father has told me over the years have been stored, influencing my daily decisions without me even knowing it. Continue reading

Healing through the dark moments

A friend just sent me a link to a beautiful blog that had some healing wisdom I’m benefiting from tonight:

“…often when we are hurting this much it is because there is something we fundamentally do not like about ourselves.  The part that we hate, or that we are afraid of, the part we try to spin or hide when we interact with others, this part got prodded somehow, and that’s where the pain is coming from.  Letting yourself feel this, trying to put an arm around it, can feel like tumbling headfirst into the abyss.

But you CAN do it.  And until you can sit with this part of yourself, until you can accept it and treat it with compassion,  you will always be coming to the world divided.  You will never be bringing your full strength or your full authenticity to the table, never be fully intimate with anyone.  You will continually attract embodiments of this inner hurt into your life instead of the loving, strong people you want to surround yourself with.”

I doubt it is a coincidence. I’m taking these words IN. Keep reading here: truebeautyalways.com/2013/03/08/when-its-all-torn-open/

And I had some very healing conversations with friends and my mom today. We are letting our truth surface. It is a collective energy movement. I feel gratitude.

Do you have any fave ways of coping with those dark moments in life? Do share…

 

A prayer of patriarchy?

A friend just sent me this prayer after our conversation about my abuse:

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake , unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.” Continue reading