Radical Self-Acceptance

20130320-235848.jpgMy dear friends, I want to invite you all today to a warm and beautiful place. It is the place within each of us… Our souls’ home. Although this is the sweetest place to be, I am saddened by how few of us have the key to the door that leads there. In the simplest terms, all we need to get there is the complete acceptance of who we are, and the willingness to just be who we are.

But unfortunately, apparently only 2% of women consider themselves beautiful. That’s 98% of us who waste our precious life force energy on feeling anxious about our noses, weigh, or the hair on our toes! (These are actual examples of conversations I’ve had with women!) It’s hard to believe that this would be the case, especially considering how smart and well educated these fellow women are. In effect it seems that no amount of education in our patriarchal system actually makes us immune to the self-hate we are brainwashed to adopt into our psyches.

So how did I break through the brainwashing? It’s a little bit like finally seeing the Matrix we live in. The messages to hate ourselves are everywhere, and are so normalized, we don’t even notice them. But I finally saw through it all after learning about the nature of abuse I’ve had to deal with in my family of origin. It finally got so intense that I finally had to seek out information about it. And you know what I learned? It’s that none of the horrible stuff had ANYTHING to do with me! It was all the another person’s pain that they were using me as a garbage dump for. Well, that made me see the bigger patterns in our society. In effect, none of the stuff the media suggests has anything to do with me personally. It’s all just a way to make money, because if they can keep you insecure, they can keep you spending that hard earned cash. It all became so clear for me. There is such parallel between the personal self-hatred, the abuse in my family, and the general self-hatred sold to us in the media. It is all connected and it is all normalized so we don’t even realize it is happening.

But I did realize, and I am no longer willing to hate myself for the benefit of others. I’ve adopted a policy of radical self-acceptance. I consider myself a soul activist. The change has taken place, there is no going back. I invite you to join me on this journey and I welcome you back home.

Why beauty no longer matters

As a survivor of a spectrum of personal boundary trespasses, I’ve had a challenging time with developing a healthy sense of self. Part of the way this has manifested for me is an unhealthy body image, and a preoccupation with beauty (and my perceived lack of it). It was a truly challenging mindset to grow up with. As a young woman I have not been able to feel safe in a relationship or trust men to find me beautiful because I did not think I was.

But something remarkable happened over the last few weeks. First of all a recent hypnotherapy session allowed me to tune into my inner child and find out that all I ever needed was to feel safe. Since it was not a feeling I was accustomed to at home with my own father, it was hard to allow myself to trust complete strangers to accept me for who I was. So I realized that the thought that I was not beautiful was actually just a self-defense mechanism my mind created at a young age to keep the bad away. Continue reading

The Sexy Lie: Caroline Heldman at TEDxYouth@SanDiego

A leading advocate for spotlighting how the mainstream media contributes to the underrepresentation of women in positions of power and influence in America, Caroline Heldman offers straight talk and an often-startling look at the objectification of women in our society. She illustrates how it has escalated, how we have become inured to its damaging effects and what we can do individually and collectively to demolish the paradigms that keep us from a better world.